Sunday, December 25, 2005

is it because she's a ...BUTCH?

conversation with mother about my lovely cousin regarding gifts.

moi: hey. so i got her sizes for you but mother.

mum: what?

moi: you gota buy her boys clothes.

mum: boys clothes! why?

moi: cuz that's what she wears!

mum: well can i just give her money and she can buy her own clothes?

moi: haha. yes, if you want.

mum: so, um, is this because SHE'S A BUTCH?

moi: hahahahhahahahhahaha. um, yes.

more laughter followed. mind you, i don't even know if my cousin identifies as butch, i just thought it was funny.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

be nobody's darling, says alice



BE NOBODY'S DARLING
Alice Walker, Anything We Love Can Be Saved

Be nobody's darling;
Be an outcast.
Take the contradictions
Of your life
And wrap around
You like a shawl,
To parry stones
To keep you warm.

Watch the people succumb
To madness
With ample cheer
Let them look askance at you
And askance you reply.

Be an outcast;
be pleased to walk alone
(Uncool)
Or line the crowded
Riverbeds
With other impetuous
Fools.

Make a merry gathering
On the bank
Where thousands perished
For brave hurt words
They said.

But
Be nobody's darling;
Be an outcast.
Qualified to live
Among your dead.

love langston!!

A girl with all that raising,
It's hard to understand
How she could get into trouble
With a no-good man.
The guy she gave her all to
Dropped her with a thud.
Now amongst decent people,
Dorothy's name is mud.
But nobody's seen her shed a tear,
Nor seen her hang her head.
Ain't even heard her murmur,
Lord, I wish I was dead!
No! The hussy's telling everybody--
Just as though it was no sin--
That if she had a chance
She'd do it agin'!
Langston Hughes, "Ballad of the Girl Whose Name Is Mud"

FemmeMenace



FemmeMenace comes out of a conversation i had with a good friend of mine, an ultra femme! heels, lip gloss, flouncy dresses, the whole damn nine. now if you want to call me femme it's cool with me, i get it, but i'm too much of a lazy bastard to self-id so strongly with the title. sure, every once in a while i feel this uncontrollable desire to do it up! but on those other days, the days where i'm tired as hell, have no clean clothes, am afraid of the bitter cold awaiting me outdoors, am just feeling a little pseudo-butch (ha!), or on the those days that i just don't see the f**king point of getting all dolled up for approval, believe me, i just happen upon dainty. funny enough, today i'm sporting my suit and tie look for my 3:00 conference call beside the big bosses. but even though i could care less, i just happen to have picked up the huge peacock colored earrings and pretty silk head scarf. eh. i guess i am femme. so anyway, my dainty friend brought up the idea of creating a community for femme queer (like-minded) women. as i said before, i can be a lazy (well, comfortable) bastard, so instead of trying to actually get folks together on a regular basis i did the thing that seemed easiest, i created a listserve. since creating that listserve two things have happened. one, i think i have been more introspective about my femmeness, to be distiguished from femininity. i think i embrace the term more, especially since i'm not the only lazy femme in the group. two, i was asked to write and essay that focused on my body image in relationship to my queer existance for a book entitled Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Hips, Lips and Other Parts. the book came out August 2, 2005 and i have been forced to be OUT since then. we have done readings at bookstores across new york and just finished speaking to a group of teenagers about the book. i believe that we have to come out everyday, especially femme women not assumed to "look gay". and it can be hard when you aren't sure what kind of reception you'll get. but when i had straight women coming up to me after readings saying they identified with my essay, it just really took a load off of my mind. i've gotten such a strong and unexpected response from the essay that it makes me feel like the thoughts in my head might be welcomed on the outside and so i've decided to start writing more to give us little femme lezzies more visibility. eh, we'll see.